my shadow walks faster than me

I've been thinking about all the traces and tracks people leave behind, all the information and ecchoes that travel ahead and tells the world who we are before we've even had the time to introduce ourselves. The internet tells one story of who I am, what I do, what I've done, who I've been. Friends telling stories of my person gives another impression, another version of me. What the internet does not - and not always the friends either - tell is what I'm able to do or who I'm trying to be.

So I guess even if we try to keep our shadows behind us, where they traditionally belong, there's no turning back - for us or our shadows. People knows a part of you before you want or need them to, through rumours and google-searches. No matter how much you dislike it, no matter how much you kick and scream. That's the world we've helped build. A world that doesn't have to be biased or cruel though.

Busy, busy

I can't believe it's been almost two months since I last blogged (!) It's an outrage, it's a damned shame, that's what it is. And being busy is really not an excuse (at least a lame one). I 'll keep in touch from now on, churplin' away with thoughts and bother you with my profound wondering. mehe.

Anyways, hope all is well and that you will continue reading what I write when I feel inspired (unlike now). Hopefully I'll be taking some pictures in the dark of november as well. So stay tuned.

the idealist

they say time never waits for no-one. they say idealism precedes experience and experience is followed only by cynicism.

I say I'm glad I'm still at stage one. I never wait for time and I'm young enough to still act and think like the idealist. I don't need the attention and certainly not the attraction. what matters is being able to make others prosperous and feel good about trying to beat time and cynicism.

time is the cynic no-one will ever beat or escape. time is what holds you down when you're on your way to greatness.

so I say: once you reach stage two, the one of experience - run and just maybe time won't catch up.

on handing out the proper papers and giving the right information

when you've done something you don't regret, but didn't explain all the things you wanted and should have said. when things get messy and all you want is to try and make it alright. when the chain of events comes right back to slap you in the famous face and life isn't all fun and games. you just didn't know.

news

light balancing the art of shadow on it's way back from darkness or on it's way to brightness. perhaps.




letting go and allowing in just a hint of illumination from somewhere you've never dreamed of reaching. who would've guessed, I guess.

remembering not to look back, but never to give what's ahead the opportunity to blind you. getting ahead and keeping your light in front of you. in a sense.

thinking and churplin' around. Camilla

walking down memory lane

every once in a while you meet people from your past. you can go on for hours just looking back, remembering the good times, the ups and downs, the parties, the charades. and it feels good. it always feels good to know someone appreciated you and can actually recall what you said ten years ago. right down to the tone of voice. it can make you feel like more of a someone than you do in the present.

but sometimes maybe the catching up can be insufficient. maybe once in a while you need to walk a few steps to the left, escape the reminiscing and start making a bunch of new memories. and then perhaps they will be the ones you'll look back on ten years from today. ten years from memory-making-time.

good girls fallin' for bad boys

it may be a law of nature. or maybe it only happens to annoy the hell out of the dreamers among people. anyway it always goes down a little somethin' like this.

good girl feels great, good girl's independent, has fun. bad boy shows his face. bad boy sweeps her off her feet (like the biggest cliche on mars). bad boy wants his freedom. good girl rolls her eyes and carries on.